Why

Why
I still feel your lips
Pressed gently on my forehead
I told you not to do that
Unless you meant it
You stroked my hair and did it
again, and again, and again

Why
I still feel your grip in my hair
The words you said chase each other
'round my broken heart as I gasp for air
I just can't seem to smother
The embers you left burning
Deep inside of me

Why
I still feel the way your pulse
Pounded against my palm
After just such a simple kiss
I know you heard
The way I gasped when you touched me
Your delighted smile lit up my world

Why
I still feel the way you stroked my hair
So many beautiful things we could be
There's nothing holding us back except
This perfect image of family you want to see
How long will you let it choke you
Until you accept that it's only a dream

Why
I still feel this longing for you
Even though I know I shouldn't
I wish you would see the truth
The love you seek is not to be found
In the place you continue to look
I'm right here in front of you

Why can't you see me?

When I Say I Love You

Sometimes when I tell you I love you,

I don't' think you understand.

I fear all you hear is an overused,

devalued, automatic pleasantry.

I need you to know something.

What I mean when I say I love you,

Is that when I look at you

There's this feeling in my chest

Like a warm, furry balloon made of safety.

Every millisecond I spend looking at you,

I find more things that touch my soul

Like the way  your hair falls over your shoulders.

Did you know you bite your lip when  you're thinking?

The bigger this feeling gets the harder it is to breathe.

By the time the air is forced out of my lungs,

All my vocal chords can remember are those three words.

What I mean when I say I love you,

Is that when I think about you

Sometimes joy builds up inside me

Spilling from my eyes in salty rivers

I think about the thousand ways you show me

That, though you're not quite sure about it all,

You'll love me no matter what.

What I mean when  I say I love you,

Is that sometimes

The desire for your touch

Is so all consuming it blocks out everything else

Hunger, pain, exhaustion it doesn't matter what

When your skin touches mine

Even in the simplest caress

When you hold my cheek in your palm,

Or you boop me on the nose

All I know is bliss

When you run your finger over my bottom lip

You finally let me kiss you

When you kiss my shoulder when I hug you

There is fire in my veins

There is peace in my heart

All I know for sure in this crazy world

Is that I love you more every day

The Tiniest Truth

The tiniest of things

The ones that sound silly

Like you're looking to close

But we look to really See

The way you touch me

Nearly every time you walk by

You see things in me

Things I thought I was keeping hidden

Those are the things

That always tell the truth

The tiniest of expressions

A faint twinkle

Peeking from your eye

When you're hiding a grin

The way you smirk

When you get the double meanings

The look on your face

When you think I don't see

You looking at me

I know how good my joke was

By the different ways you smile

The tiniest acts

Checking in if I'm being quiet

Noticing when I'm truly not ok

And making me be vulnerable

Showing me it's safe

You say I love you

A thousand times a day
You might not ever use words

But I hear you

In the tiniest of things

Serenity

Jumbled

Scrabble tiles in a leather bag

My stomach churns my lunch to butter

Electric fires 

Scorching raw nerves

To many sensations

Neurons misfiring

Illogical emotions bleeding through

Seeping from my eyes

In saltwater waves

Brushed aside by a single fingertip

Every atom strains

Laser focused

Engines screaming 

Pumping clouds of steam

Into starry eyed skies

A second carress

Palm to cheek

Screeching breaks

Melting rubber 

Wafting into nostrils

Consciousness catapulted

Into the serenity of my submission

Infinity

Gods I hope you feel it too

This yawning cavity in my chest

Every thought 

All the air

A black hole of desire 

Your eyes shine galaxies into my soul

Lead me 

Down sparkling pathways 

Of cosmic dust

Once we were and sometimes will again

The body fights the mind

Leaden arms with aching hands

Waiting only for permission

You remember

I see the shadows

The ones that skate across your smile

The sweetest glimpse

Of past and promised future

I beg you

Tell me you feel it

And with you I'll dive headfirst

Into the great infinity