I'm silent as a ghost
I've really got nothign to say
I don't think anything's wrong
Maybe I just think deeper than most
At times it seems I'm floating
No footfalls echo
And no jolt of impact
I swear I'm not moping
I'm a master at being invisible
Receed into the shadows
Carefully watching the bustle around me
This skill makes life liveable
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
You Make Me
Walking down, through the hallway
I never know what to expect
Glaring at the people I don't like
They stare back, I'm such a reject
And then suddenly I meet your eyes
And my stomach gets the butterflies
Maybe this is finally something real
You're making me feel
(chorus)
Like I'm flying through the skies
No turning back or wondering why
I knew the day you caught my eye
That you'd be mine
Running faster than Superman
I can do so much more than he can
Because you make me feel unstoppable
You make me feel happy
(verse 2)
The stars shine brightly in the sky
Blinding all except you and I
The lights dim when you walk into the room
And my heart begins to bloom
Then you take my hand, I'm hypnotized
Tingles running up and down my spine
Now I know this is something real
Cause you make me feel
(chorus)
(bridge)
I was one so full of hate
You came along, and somehow that changed
My chest started feeling funny
Then you kissed me
Just when my world was crashing down
You picked me up and spun me around
And in your smile all I see is true
And I love you
(chorus)
You make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel
Happy!
I never know what to expect
Glaring at the people I don't like
They stare back, I'm such a reject
And then suddenly I meet your eyes
And my stomach gets the butterflies
Maybe this is finally something real
You're making me feel
(chorus)
Like I'm flying through the skies
No turning back or wondering why
I knew the day you caught my eye
That you'd be mine
Running faster than Superman
I can do so much more than he can
Because you make me feel unstoppable
You make me feel happy
(verse 2)
The stars shine brightly in the sky
Blinding all except you and I
The lights dim when you walk into the room
And my heart begins to bloom
Then you take my hand, I'm hypnotized
Tingles running up and down my spine
Now I know this is something real
Cause you make me feel
(chorus)
(bridge)
I was one so full of hate
You came along, and somehow that changed
My chest started feeling funny
Then you kissed me
Just when my world was crashing down
You picked me up and spun me around
And in your smile all I see is true
And I love you
(chorus)
You make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel
Happy!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Of Life, Of Happiness, Of Peace
April is National Sexual Abuse Awareness Month
This is my dedication to those that have suffered as well as an outlet to my own pain.
It's not easy to share this but its needed.
The more people that stand up and say yeah it happened the better it will be for all of us.
It is never the victims fault no matter the circumstances.
No matter what happens in your life, raped, abused or beaten.. know that someone in your life will be there to love and cherish you for who you are
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I'm Not Cool
You sit and laugh at me
My clothes and my shoes
Even my personality
You say that I'm not "cool"
Well if being "cool"
Means wearing clothes
That are two sizes to small
And goofy uncomfortable shoes
If it means acting a fool
Constantly bragging
About drugs and drinking
And guy's I'm shagging
Honey, I don't WANT to be cool
I don't want to be like you
Being me is so much better
Honest to gods
I'd rather be tared and feather
Than be what you call "cool"
So I think I'll stay like me
Sitting in the back row
A silent friendly shadow
Just me
Me and my poetry
My clothes and my shoes
Even my personality
You say that I'm not "cool"
Well if being "cool"
Means wearing clothes
That are two sizes to small
And goofy uncomfortable shoes
If it means acting a fool
Constantly bragging
About drugs and drinking
And guy's I'm shagging
Honey, I don't WANT to be cool
I don't want to be like you
Being me is so much better
Honest to gods
I'd rather be tared and feather
Than be what you call "cool"
So I think I'll stay like me
Sitting in the back row
A silent friendly shadow
Just me
Me and my poetry
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Redemption pt. 1
My story begins 9 months twelve days and sixteen hours ago, as I was walking to my car to meet up with the guys after the first football game of the season. I've got my helmet under my arm. That’s right, I play football. I'm the only girl to ever make the team in this Podunk town. That’s what got me screwed. Literally. I'm 6 feet and 200 pounds of muscle and sinew. I thought that throwing the winning touchdown of the opening game would earn me a measure of respect. I was wrong. So very, very wrong.
Still moving to fast for you? Let me go back a little farther. My name is Amanda Nicole Wright. Call me Amanda, Mandy, Nikki I really don't care. There are also some nastier names I've been called but I'll let you be creative. I was born in San Diego California. I was born to two people barely old enough to be parents, Nick and Izzy. A long forgotten football start and his cheer captain that decided to run away together. Summer before my sophomore year we moved back to their home town, (small town), Texas. I left my home, my frinds, and my love of two years. I exchanged it all for a football uniform.
So here I am. Two hours after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy that my family has unanimously decided to name Marshall Evan Wright. He looks just like his daddy, or so I assume because my father says he looks like no one in my family. When the nurse brings him in for me to see him for the first time I am hit by a sudden overwhelming wave of pure dread at the thought that I am about to hold a mini replica of my attacker. But as soon as the nurse lays him in my arms I can do nothing but fall in love with this blanket-wrapped, squirming bundle of flesh. My flesh. The baby opens his eyes and mine lock on. A sickening rush of relief floods through my system as I realize that they are not the eyes of the man I had believed to be my attacker for the last nine months. No I do not recognize these eyes. A deep emerald green with a ring of pure gold around the center. They are the eyes of a Celtic god. How something so purely beautiful could arise from something so demonic amazes me. Anyway, I’m healthy, the baby is healthy and with no unexpected complications I should be out of here in a few days with my baby safely in my arms.
My dad pulls up to the hospital doors where they have me sitting In a wheelchair with my baby in my arms. Stupid hospital policy. He’s managed to get the baby seat appropriately secured into the driver’s side rear seat, where I can see it and reach it if necessary. My mom has already claimed the seat next to the baby. As we pull into our driveway I realize that my entire family has been struck by a hardcore case of baby fever. Cars, trucks, and SUV’s line both sides of the street and are parked all over the yard. Tears prick my eyes at this show of support and as soon as I step out of the car I have to turn back and busy myself rearranging and unfastening the baby from his seat so that I can recompose myself. I hand Marshall to my dad to do the traditional “initial presentation”. As my dad announces his name and weight all the men cheer and come up to make comments on how healthy and hefty he looks. There was more than one, “yep that’s good Marshall football stock right there” comment.
As the guys all wander back to their beer and football my mom, aunts, cousins, and grandparents all usher me into the house and directly into a padded rocking chair that has been set where I can see everything going on but I’m out of the way. All the younger cousins want to hold the baby so they all take turns sitting in the rocking chair and holding him for a few seconds. I hand Marshall off to my cousin Nikki.
“Hey do you mind watching out for him for a little while? I need to take a bit of a nap and I know everyone is still not done oooohing and aaaaahing over him. His bassinet is right there just please watch the younger kids. If he starts crying you can come get me.”
“Yeah, it’s no problem. I’d love to be the first to baby sit little Marshall.” Nikki says with a grin.
“You’re a lifesaver Nik.”
I find myself wandering aimlessly through the house. Wandering into the nursery room, I take it all in. my family went insane in here. The walls are a soft baby blue with three bands of hand painted border going around at the top, middle and bottom of the wall. The bands are thanks to my aunt Judy, the painter. The border is a slightly darker blue with pink diamonds in it. The diamonds are alternating frogs and ducks with a pink background. The pink was my only stipulation in the room. The boy had to have some pink. The crib is solid cherry wood built by my nephew John. The blankets are a soft pastel yellow with frogs on them. They even got him frog slippers and a duck hooded bath towel. I smile as I realize that the frog and duck color scheme matches his eyes. As I walk through the rest of my house I have to chuckle at my own “mommy alert sense” that brought each sharp edge and protruding corner into sharp focus. My mom had already put the little clear plastic shock protectors into all the outlets and put baby locks on all the down-low cabinets. He wouldn’t be mobile for a while yet but I appreciated her sense of foresight. Sitting down on my bed a lump had formed in my throat. In a foggy daze in noticed my football shaped phone and reached for it. My fingers automatically dialed a number that had always been a failsafe when I needed someone to talk to in the past.
“Hello?”
The all too familiar voice dashed my reverie to bits.
“Look I don’t know who you are but unless you want the cops called on you don’t call my house again got it? I’m writing your number….oh my god Manda! Manda talk to me. Look I know it’s you. I could never forget your number. Manda please…” a panicked sense of desperation was creeping into her voice. My fingers had dialed the number of my girlfriend, Heather. We had just celebrated our fifth anniversary, and yes I mean five year anniversary, when I found out I was pregnant. I stopped taking her calls, ignored the emails, the texts, the IM’s, I even returned her letter unopened. I just couldn’t deal.
“Hi Heather,” I winced as she broke down into tears, each sob a well placed guilt driven punch, “I’m so sorry for what I did to you. It’s a long story and one I don’t want to tell over the phone but I have a baby boy now, it’s not what you think though. Believe me, not my doing. I miss you so much.”
“I’ll be there Friday ok?” Heather was crying softly. “I still love you.”
“I never stopped loving you Heather. I just couldn’t deal. I love you. I’ll let me dad know you’re on your way.”
I fell into a deep sleep clinging tightly to the phone listening to her breathing even out on the other end. When I woke up my mom was stroking the hair away from my face.
“Have a good nap?”
“Yeah no dreams. Hey mom…”
“What Hun?”
“I um…I called Heather. She’s coming in Friday. I didn’t plan on doing it but I did.”
“Good, damn good. It’s about time the two of you got back on track. Should a get another room ready or….?” My mom asked with a smile.
“I think we should get one ready just in case. Or at least throw a mattress on the floor in here for me. She can sleep in my bed.” I was unceasingly amazed at how accepting my mom was. Any other mom would have freaked out to know that someone I hadn’t talked to in nine moths was coming to see me.
I floated through the next two days in a state of bliss. The family was amazing at balancing helpfulness with leaving Marshall and I enough time to bond. I had worried about my ability to change his diaper or get puked on without barfing but on the rare occasion that grams or mom or one of my aunts didn’t swoop him up, my mommy instincts just kicked in and got it done. When I went to bed on Thursday I had no intentions of going to sleep. I was going to pull an all-nighter to make sure I was awake when Heather got there. I was all cuddled up in my bed with one of my favorite books. The last time I looked at the clock it was 10:30.
Sometime in the night I was joined by a large, soft, warm presence as two arms slipped around me slowly and I was enveloped by a scent I hadn’t been able to get out of my nostrils for three years. I smiled and turned to look into the face of my one and only love, and broke into tears. I buried my face into her collar bone and wrapped my arms around her tight enough to break her. I turn my forehead into her neck as soft sobs rocked her body as well. I moved so that we were face to face on the bed and kissed her forehead.
“I’m so so so sorry….” she silenced me with a slow soft kiss.
“That can all wait until tomorrow. Lets just enjoy being together again ok?”
“OK” I smiled and pulled her tight against me as she kissing me again.
Soft knocking woke me up and I could see daylight glowing around the edges of my black out shades. I pulle d the blankets up over Heather to cover us and to try to muffle some noise.
“Come in but be quiet,” I called softly not wanting to wake Heather. She had made a two day drive in less than 36 hours. She must have driven straight through the night and broken every speed limit on the way.
“Hey I just wanted to let you all know that breakfast was going to be ready in about forty five minutes.”
“Ok Mrs. Wright,” I heard a muffled voice from behind me as fingers found my ticklish spot on my back, “as soon as Manda sees fit to stop trying to smother me we will be right down.”
I laughed and moved the blanket. “Good morning, I was just trying to muffle the noise so I wouldn’t wake you up.”
“Oh so planning to deprive me of breakfast were you?” Heather asked as she curled tighter around me laying an arm over my waist.
My mom cut in with a good hearted smile, “I’ll leave you two alone.” as my mom was about to leave the room she turned back and gave us a long look and smiled, “It’s good to have you back Heather.”
“Good to be back to Mrs. Wright.”
As my mom clicked the door shut Heather punched my arm lightly and then rolled me over and kissed me softly grinning.
“One for trying to smother me the other for trying to let me sleep.”
"Do you want to go eat?” I asked softly half hoping she would say no.
“We probably should darlin‘. Don’t need rumors my first night back.”
Grinning evilly I replied, “You know exactly what to say to avoid getting out of this bed.” Forty-five minutes later we were headed down stairs freshly showered and hand-in-hand.
“Hey guys look what I found in my bed this morning.” I held up my hand still linked with Heather’s. “Whose bright idea was it to let this in?” I smiled as everyone’s face lit up and we took our seats.
“Actually you still hide your key in the same place.” she giggled holding up my key. I laughed and secretly was glad I hadn’t moved it yet as I had planned to.
Just as I finished eating the baby started screaming. Heather looked at me with a slight tinge of fear in her eyes. I smiled and held out my hand leading her down the hall to the nursery. Leaning into the crib and picking up little Marshal I turned and handed him carefully to Heather, who held him as if he would shatter if she breathed to hard. I couldn’t help smiling at the light in her eyes. I wrapped one arm around her waist and stroked Marshall’s forehead softly with a finger.
Looking at Heather I whispered softly “Marshall, meet your Mommy.”
Heather looked up at me tears in her eyes. She didn’t say a word. But then again she didn’t have to. I smiled back at her and kissed her forehead softly. I knew that I would never let her get away again.
Still moving to fast for you? Let me go back a little farther. My name is Amanda Nicole Wright. Call me Amanda, Mandy, Nikki I really don't care. There are also some nastier names I've been called but I'll let you be creative. I was born in San Diego California. I was born to two people barely old enough to be parents, Nick and Izzy. A long forgotten football start and his cheer captain that decided to run away together. Summer before my sophomore year we moved back to their home town, (small town), Texas. I left my home, my frinds, and my love of two years. I exchanged it all for a football uniform.
So here I am. Two hours after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy that my family has unanimously decided to name Marshall Evan Wright. He looks just like his daddy, or so I assume because my father says he looks like no one in my family. When the nurse brings him in for me to see him for the first time I am hit by a sudden overwhelming wave of pure dread at the thought that I am about to hold a mini replica of my attacker. But as soon as the nurse lays him in my arms I can do nothing but fall in love with this blanket-wrapped, squirming bundle of flesh. My flesh. The baby opens his eyes and mine lock on. A sickening rush of relief floods through my system as I realize that they are not the eyes of the man I had believed to be my attacker for the last nine months. No I do not recognize these eyes. A deep emerald green with a ring of pure gold around the center. They are the eyes of a Celtic god. How something so purely beautiful could arise from something so demonic amazes me. Anyway, I’m healthy, the baby is healthy and with no unexpected complications I should be out of here in a few days with my baby safely in my arms.
My dad pulls up to the hospital doors where they have me sitting In a wheelchair with my baby in my arms. Stupid hospital policy. He’s managed to get the baby seat appropriately secured into the driver’s side rear seat, where I can see it and reach it if necessary. My mom has already claimed the seat next to the baby. As we pull into our driveway I realize that my entire family has been struck by a hardcore case of baby fever. Cars, trucks, and SUV’s line both sides of the street and are parked all over the yard. Tears prick my eyes at this show of support and as soon as I step out of the car I have to turn back and busy myself rearranging and unfastening the baby from his seat so that I can recompose myself. I hand Marshall to my dad to do the traditional “initial presentation”. As my dad announces his name and weight all the men cheer and come up to make comments on how healthy and hefty he looks. There was more than one, “yep that’s good Marshall football stock right there” comment.
As the guys all wander back to their beer and football my mom, aunts, cousins, and grandparents all usher me into the house and directly into a padded rocking chair that has been set where I can see everything going on but I’m out of the way. All the younger cousins want to hold the baby so they all take turns sitting in the rocking chair and holding him for a few seconds. I hand Marshall off to my cousin Nikki.
“Hey do you mind watching out for him for a little while? I need to take a bit of a nap and I know everyone is still not done oooohing and aaaaahing over him. His bassinet is right there just please watch the younger kids. If he starts crying you can come get me.”
“Yeah, it’s no problem. I’d love to be the first to baby sit little Marshall.” Nikki says with a grin.
“You’re a lifesaver Nik.”
I find myself wandering aimlessly through the house. Wandering into the nursery room, I take it all in. my family went insane in here. The walls are a soft baby blue with three bands of hand painted border going around at the top, middle and bottom of the wall. The bands are thanks to my aunt Judy, the painter. The border is a slightly darker blue with pink diamonds in it. The diamonds are alternating frogs and ducks with a pink background. The pink was my only stipulation in the room. The boy had to have some pink. The crib is solid cherry wood built by my nephew John. The blankets are a soft pastel yellow with frogs on them. They even got him frog slippers and a duck hooded bath towel. I smile as I realize that the frog and duck color scheme matches his eyes. As I walk through the rest of my house I have to chuckle at my own “mommy alert sense” that brought each sharp edge and protruding corner into sharp focus. My mom had already put the little clear plastic shock protectors into all the outlets and put baby locks on all the down-low cabinets. He wouldn’t be mobile for a while yet but I appreciated her sense of foresight. Sitting down on my bed a lump had formed in my throat. In a foggy daze in noticed my football shaped phone and reached for it. My fingers automatically dialed a number that had always been a failsafe when I needed someone to talk to in the past.
“Hello?”
The all too familiar voice dashed my reverie to bits.
“Look I don’t know who you are but unless you want the cops called on you don’t call my house again got it? I’m writing your number….oh my god Manda! Manda talk to me. Look I know it’s you. I could never forget your number. Manda please…” a panicked sense of desperation was creeping into her voice. My fingers had dialed the number of my girlfriend, Heather. We had just celebrated our fifth anniversary, and yes I mean five year anniversary, when I found out I was pregnant. I stopped taking her calls, ignored the emails, the texts, the IM’s, I even returned her letter unopened. I just couldn’t deal.
“Hi Heather,” I winced as she broke down into tears, each sob a well placed guilt driven punch, “I’m so sorry for what I did to you. It’s a long story and one I don’t want to tell over the phone but I have a baby boy now, it’s not what you think though. Believe me, not my doing. I miss you so much.”
“I’ll be there Friday ok?” Heather was crying softly. “I still love you.”
“I never stopped loving you Heather. I just couldn’t deal. I love you. I’ll let me dad know you’re on your way.”
I fell into a deep sleep clinging tightly to the phone listening to her breathing even out on the other end. When I woke up my mom was stroking the hair away from my face.
“Have a good nap?”
“Yeah no dreams. Hey mom…”
“What Hun?”
“I um…I called Heather. She’s coming in Friday. I didn’t plan on doing it but I did.”
“Good, damn good. It’s about time the two of you got back on track. Should a get another room ready or….?” My mom asked with a smile.
“I think we should get one ready just in case. Or at least throw a mattress on the floor in here for me. She can sleep in my bed.” I was unceasingly amazed at how accepting my mom was. Any other mom would have freaked out to know that someone I hadn’t talked to in nine moths was coming to see me.
I floated through the next two days in a state of bliss. The family was amazing at balancing helpfulness with leaving Marshall and I enough time to bond. I had worried about my ability to change his diaper or get puked on without barfing but on the rare occasion that grams or mom or one of my aunts didn’t swoop him up, my mommy instincts just kicked in and got it done. When I went to bed on Thursday I had no intentions of going to sleep. I was going to pull an all-nighter to make sure I was awake when Heather got there. I was all cuddled up in my bed with one of my favorite books. The last time I looked at the clock it was 10:30.
Sometime in the night I was joined by a large, soft, warm presence as two arms slipped around me slowly and I was enveloped by a scent I hadn’t been able to get out of my nostrils for three years. I smiled and turned to look into the face of my one and only love, and broke into tears. I buried my face into her collar bone and wrapped my arms around her tight enough to break her. I turn my forehead into her neck as soft sobs rocked her body as well. I moved so that we were face to face on the bed and kissed her forehead.
“I’m so so so sorry….” she silenced me with a slow soft kiss.
“That can all wait until tomorrow. Lets just enjoy being together again ok?”
“OK” I smiled and pulled her tight against me as she kissing me again.
Soft knocking woke me up and I could see daylight glowing around the edges of my black out shades. I pulle d the blankets up over Heather to cover us and to try to muffle some noise.
“Come in but be quiet,” I called softly not wanting to wake Heather. She had made a two day drive in less than 36 hours. She must have driven straight through the night and broken every speed limit on the way.
“Hey I just wanted to let you all know that breakfast was going to be ready in about forty five minutes.”
“Ok Mrs. Wright,” I heard a muffled voice from behind me as fingers found my ticklish spot on my back, “as soon as Manda sees fit to stop trying to smother me we will be right down.”
I laughed and moved the blanket. “Good morning, I was just trying to muffle the noise so I wouldn’t wake you up.”
“Oh so planning to deprive me of breakfast were you?” Heather asked as she curled tighter around me laying an arm over my waist.
My mom cut in with a good hearted smile, “I’ll leave you two alone.” as my mom was about to leave the room she turned back and gave us a long look and smiled, “It’s good to have you back Heather.”
“Good to be back to Mrs. Wright.”
As my mom clicked the door shut Heather punched my arm lightly and then rolled me over and kissed me softly grinning.
“One for trying to smother me the other for trying to let me sleep.”
"Do you want to go eat?” I asked softly half hoping she would say no.
“We probably should darlin‘. Don’t need rumors my first night back.”
Grinning evilly I replied, “You know exactly what to say to avoid getting out of this bed.” Forty-five minutes later we were headed down stairs freshly showered and hand-in-hand.
“Hey guys look what I found in my bed this morning.” I held up my hand still linked with Heather’s. “Whose bright idea was it to let this in?” I smiled as everyone’s face lit up and we took our seats.
“Actually you still hide your key in the same place.” she giggled holding up my key. I laughed and secretly was glad I hadn’t moved it yet as I had planned to.
Just as I finished eating the baby started screaming. Heather looked at me with a slight tinge of fear in her eyes. I smiled and held out my hand leading her down the hall to the nursery. Leaning into the crib and picking up little Marshal I turned and handed him carefully to Heather, who held him as if he would shatter if she breathed to hard. I couldn’t help smiling at the light in her eyes. I wrapped one arm around her waist and stroked Marshall’s forehead softly with a finger.
Looking at Heather I whispered softly “Marshall, meet your Mommy.”
Heather looked up at me tears in her eyes. She didn’t say a word. But then again she didn’t have to. I smiled back at her and kissed her forehead softly. I knew that I would never let her get away again.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Sweetest Agony
Concentration burnt to cinders
A slow fire in the pit of my stomach
Burning all reason from me
Brought on by a thought of you
The soothing barrage of your voice
The pleading insistence of your touch
The perfect tenderness of your assault
A war waged on my senses
The naivety behind your coy smile
The innocence in your passion
The maze of your personality
Intruiges me and binds me fast
The goodness in your heart
The devil’s gleam in your eye
The unassuming strength lurking in your soul
Its all just a bit to much
The culmination of the fire
The point of sweetest agony
You meet my eyes and touch my cheek
And softly whisper “I love you”
A slow fire in the pit of my stomach
Burning all reason from me
Brought on by a thought of you
The soothing barrage of your voice
The pleading insistence of your touch
The perfect tenderness of your assault
A war waged on my senses
The naivety behind your coy smile
The innocence in your passion
The maze of your personality
Intruiges me and binds me fast
The goodness in your heart
The devil’s gleam in your eye
The unassuming strength lurking in your soul
Its all just a bit to much
The culmination of the fire
The point of sweetest agony
You meet my eyes and touch my cheek
And softly whisper “I love you”
Monday, April 11, 2011
Pandora's Box
Glances stolen
Smiles exchanged
Gears set to rollin
My how times have changed
**************************
**************************
Years gone by
Like grains of sand
You've walked side by side
Afraid to hold hands
**************************
**************************
You see two girls
Across the plaza
To the music they dance
In each other's arms they twirl
**************************
**************************
Four sparkling eyes
Two sets of lips
Meet and join
For an innocent kiss
**************************
**************************
You glance at your lover
And take her hand
No better time
To make a stand
**************************
**************************
To many years
Spent in this box of Pandora's
Now open the lid
The world lay before us
**************************
**************************
This is supposed to be about and older lesbian couple that is finally coming out and learning to display thier affection for each other after growing up in a world where it was "wrong"
Saturday, April 9, 2011
All The Same
Chest tight
Heart constricted
It seems your words
And my soul’ve conflicted
But not before I became addicted
To the person I thought you were
So sweet and gentle
You first introduced me
Shy and confused
It was you who seduced me
The night near the pumkin patch
The rose in the moonlight confirming
But now you’re this person
The thought is unnerving
Pushing and screaming
I guess all the while
I must’ve been dreaming
You’re drunken raving
And hurtful words
I’m suddenly craving
Air I can’t get
And love seems to hate me
You’re just the same
As every guy I’ve met
You’re a wonderful guy
Until you get what you want
Heart constricted
It seems your words
And my soul’ve conflicted
But not before I became addicted
To the person I thought you were
So sweet and gentle
You first introduced me
Shy and confused
It was you who seduced me
The night near the pumkin patch
The rose in the moonlight confirming
But now you’re this person
The thought is unnerving
Pushing and screaming
I guess all the while
I must’ve been dreaming
You’re drunken raving
And hurtful words
I’m suddenly craving
Air I can’t get
And love seems to hate me
You’re just the same
As every guy I’ve met
You’re a wonderful guy
Until you get what you want
And its just not right
You leave me with my
Heart constricted
And my chest feeling tight
You leave me with my
Heart constricted
And my chest feeling tight
Monday, April 4, 2011
BORED (Acrostic)
Beside myself with angst and anticipation
Outside myself my mind floats
Returning randomly to refresh the pain
Endlessly waiting for someone to call back
Denying to myself that I've been abandoned
Outside myself my mind floats
Returning randomly to refresh the pain
Endlessly waiting for someone to call back
Denying to myself that I've been abandoned
LONELY (Acrostic)
Left to entertain myself
Out of my mind with continuous boredom
Next step is ot give up and sleep
Everyone occupying all sources of entertainment
Lethargic and wishing for
Your company
CRUSH (Acrostic)
Captivated by an emotion that is often not
Reciprocated by the object of that affection
Unble to understand how they cannot
See how perfect you are for each other
Hurried along by the next to catch your eye
I Remember
I begin thinking of you
It's like a stabbing pain
Located in my chest
And everytiem I swear I'm through
And then I remember
I remember all the times we sat together
We used to watch the people pass
and comment on how kids grow up so fast
I begin to miss you
Even though I swore I wouldn't
You're name on my telephone screen haunts me
Why couldn't our dreams come true?
And then I remember
I remember how you felt in my arms
The way you relaxed against me
The way you fit so perfectly
I begin to cry
I'm heartbroken and longing for you
but I'm amazed at my tears
I thought the well had gone dry
And then I remember
I remember that look in your eye
The way you smiled at me
That made me weak in the knees
I begin to ache
My heart, my soul
My body yearns
and my mind begins to burn
And then I remember
I remember how the slightest touch
Made my stomach stir
And it all just hurts to much
I begin to numb
My mind knows
My heart was fooled
Sometimes I feel so dumb
And then I remember
I could go on for hours
About how you made me feel
With the devil I would have made a deal
I begin to realize
I will love you forever
all these things are true
But you were just an anchor to which I was tethered
It's like a stabbing pain
Located in my chest
And everytiem I swear I'm through
And then I remember
I remember all the times we sat together
We used to watch the people pass
and comment on how kids grow up so fast
I begin to miss you
Even though I swore I wouldn't
You're name on my telephone screen haunts me
Why couldn't our dreams come true?
And then I remember
I remember how you felt in my arms
The way you relaxed against me
The way you fit so perfectly
I begin to cry
I'm heartbroken and longing for you
but I'm amazed at my tears
I thought the well had gone dry
And then I remember
I remember that look in your eye
The way you smiled at me
That made me weak in the knees
I begin to ache
My heart, my soul
My body yearns
and my mind begins to burn
And then I remember
I remember how the slightest touch
Made my stomach stir
And it all just hurts to much
I begin to numb
My mind knows
My heart was fooled
Sometimes I feel so dumb
And then I remember
I could go on for hours
About how you made me feel
With the devil I would have made a deal
I begin to realize
I will love you forever
all these things are true
But you were just an anchor to which I was tethered
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)